Leaving the hospital (birthing center, inflatable pool in the middle of your living room, side of the road, ect.) with a new baby in your arms is a surreal experience. Sure, you usually know for months that a new life is about to enter yours, but holding that little life in your hands and bringing them home with you for the first time is indescribable.

While you’ve probably scoured through list upon list made up of hundreds of items you need for Baby or need to know, most of them are actually pretty inconsequential. There are, however, a few things that are vital and that would be immensely helpful to know prior to your little one’s big arrival. 

Car Seat Safety

Straight up, there are so many ways you can mess up as a parent. In fact, you are going to mess up, and you are going to mess up a lot. It’s totally okay though, you’ve just got to roll with those parenting punches. However, car seat safety is one thing you’re going to want to get right, and get it right from the beginning. 

It’s amazing how many misconceptions there are about car seat safety, especially since one of the leading causes of death and injury in children is automobile related. I’m not trying to freak you out, and there’s really no reason to be. The key is to get educated about it as soon as possible, and the best time is before your little one is even here. It’s just one less thing to worry about – trust me, there’s going to be enough learning going on as it is. Making such a vital lesson such as car seat safety a precursor one will help lessen the load. 

Luckily, there are a ton of resources pertaining to car seat safety. Whether you get your information from your local CPS technician or other fully informed sources, it’s important to know that your child is buckled in correctly and in the appropriate seat. 

While there are endless ways people end up installing their carseats, there’s typically only one or two ways that provide the safest situation for your child in your particular car situation. Car seat safety is extremely important, so much so that hospitals typically won’t even let you leave until you can show that you have a car seat and you know how to properly put your baby in one. 
Even though there’s pretty much only one or two SAFEST (even if it is LEGAL, it does not mean it is SAFEST) routes to use for car seat installation to install a car seat and fit your car seat to your little one, it can be complicated if you haven’t already taken the steps to educate yourself on best practices. Whether you use <a href=”http://<a target=”_blank” href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/search?ie=UTF8&tag=forhumanparen-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=4f3fc838cf235320f3695ddac5c7b7b0&camp=1789&creative=9325&index=baby-products&keywords=convertible car seat”>convertible car seatsa convertible seat from birth (like I did, here’s the one my 6 pound baby came home in and still is using at 4 years old.) or go with a bucket seat that will need to be switched out around a year or so, be sure to educate yourself on the ins and outs of your chosen seat and installing it in your own car.

Breastfeeding

No matter where you stand on the whole Fed is Best/Breast is Best debate, it’s important that you fully understand the benefit of breastmilk compared to formula so that you can make an educated decision of what is best for you and your family. If you are planning on breastfeeding or have a breastfeeding goal in mind, it’s incredibly helpful to do your own research about how to breastfeed and the many different experiences you can have prior to giving birth. 

Why? Well, simply, because breastfeeding is hard as hell for the majority of people who attempt it. Breastfeeding would be hard if you hadn’t just given birth, if you weren’t sleep deprived, and if you didn’t have so many other new challenges to face daily.  It becomes so much harder when you consider the amount of misinformation there is out there about breastfeeding. It’s almost like the world is designed to promote selling you products instead of using the free, natural milk your body produces for a baby. Interesting.

Not to fear, though, because the majority of women who are dedicated to breastfeeding have the ability to be successful. Yes, there are some cases in which breastfeeding isn’t possible, but those cases are more rare than most would lead you to believe.

Luckily, there are plenty of resources for breastfeeding parents. Le Leche League International is one of the most reputable resources out there that are actually helpful, as well as Kelly Mom. When I was on my journey, I joined a number of Facebook groups to find support from people who had gone through the same issues that I had. Facebook groups can be incredibly valuable for a number of things, but you need to take some advice with a grain of salt, because everyone has something to say and not everyone can be right.

It’s important to be aware of the benefits and challenges of breastfeeding before your baby makes their debut, because those first hours and days of your baby’s birth are critical in how successful your journey can be. If you know what you want your journey to be like, what to expect, and are knowledgeable about the process, then you will not have to depend on someone else’s opinions and influence, of which there are sure to be many.

The ABCs of Safe Sleep and The Safe Sleep 7

Babies sleep a lot (if you’re lucky). They spend a good half of their time dozing, and it’s important that they are safe doing it. In America, hospitals are pretty hardcore about drilling it in to parent’s head that babies need their own safe sleep space and that co-sleeping is not safe. Whether you agree with that or not, it’s important that you are educated on both The ABCs of Safe Sleep and Safe Sleep 7, the latter of which is used for co-sleeping parents. 

Even if you are someone who is dedicated to following strict guidelines laid out for safe sleep, called The ABCs of Safe Sleep (Alone, on their back, in a crib), it’s good to know good co-sleeping practices as well. This is just in case anything may arise, you have another safety measure on the back burner.

As much as babies sleep, parents sleep much, much less and are often sleep deprived. This can be dangerous, and a mother feeding her baby can easily doze off while doing so. Knowing the Safe Sleep 7 can be helpful just in case, for example, you fall asleep while holding your baby. If you’re feeling drowsy, you can implement the Safe Sleep 7 as a fail safe. Even if you think you will never be in this kind of position, think again. Even if you end up following The ABCs of Safe Sleep 100% of the time, you will be no worse for knowing the Safe Sleep 7 as well.

No matter which safe sleep measure you take, it’s important that whatever sleep space your baby is sleeping in is safe. Whether it be your own bed or your child’s own sleep space in your room or their own, it should be one that is optimized for safe sleep. 

Not a lot of people know that not everything marketed for infant sleep is actually  approved for safe sleep. Consumerism, am I right? A good rule of thumb for getting products that are backed by the ABCs of sleep is that anything that says “crib” or “bassinet” is good for safe sleep and is federally regulated. Watch out, though, because some brands will trip you up by calling their product a bassinest. If a product simply says “sleeper” or “bassinest” without also calling itself a bassinet or crib, run the other way.

Some Pack N’ Plays are also good, and you will know which ones, again, by the use of the term “bassinet” accompanying the brand name. 

Don’t worry, there are still plenty of options to choose from that do fall under the “crib” or “bassinet” terminology that is approved for safe sleep, arguably too much! Sidecar sleepers (like this one I personally have used) are a good middle ground for parents who want to co-sleep, but are not comfortable with bedsharing. 

Below are a few great options, but you will need to decide what works best for you and your situation. Do you plan to cosleep, bedshare, or follow the ABCs of Safe sleep? Some parents use their crib religiously, while some fill it with clothes and toys and their baby never sees the inside. Some parents opt for a bassinet and transition to a crib later on. I panic-bought a ton of products and ended up using almost none of them. Don’t be like me.

Gut Health and Solid Foods

If there’s anything that is standard about having a baby, it’s the amount of misinformation you will find about literally anything. A big one is when to feed solids. I’ve seen parents talk about feeding their little ones something other than breastmilk or formula as early as 2 weeks old. While most people would know that is incredibly dangerous, not all do. 

With the most up to date information we have, babies should not consume anything other than their breastmilk or formula until they are AT LEAST 6 months old and meet all signs of readiness. While some pediatricians still say 4 months old for the minimum, it’s important to recognize that pediatricians themselves are not always up to date with their information. I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s true. One ped will tell you something completely different from another, and they can’t both be right.

Water should not be given to your child until 6 months old, either. After a child is 1 year old, they can pretty much have as much water as they want. 

This all has to do with gut health. The introduction of solid food (which is anything other than breastmilk or formula, doesn’t matter if it’s actually “solid”) is a huge deal, actually, and you don’t want to rush it. 

I would urge every new parent and every parent who is having a new child do their own research on gut health and all the “don’ts” that were previously “do’s”, because our world is constantly changing and we are always learning more about this weird world and our lives in it.

How to Advocate For Yourself and Your Baby

Opinions are like assholes – everyone’s got one. I know you’ve heard that line before, but it’s especially true when it comes to raising small humans. Everyone (even people without babies) is going to give you their input, whether you want it or not.  

Handling well-wishers and joy-stompers who have opinions on your kid and how to raise them is a sticky situation. Everyone has raised their babies in different ways, and no one wants to hear that they are wrong. Sometimes you can just smile and nod, but you also need to be able to navigate the word no. You are the parent, and you are the one who has the massive weight on this tiny baby on your shoulders. 

Survivor bias is a thing: “I did this, and my kid is okay.” Listen, just because Johnny lived through the ‘80s in a car seat made of duct tape and bungee cords doesn’t mean you should make a trip to The Home Depot and call it a day. 

While you probably shouldn’t call out Johnny’s parents over something from decades ago that they can no longer correct, you don’t have to take their advice either. In fact, putting your foot down on what you will and won’t be doing is setting healthy boundaries for you and your growing family.

If nothing else, the one thing everyone should know when starting their parenting journey or bringing a new baby home is this: Don’t just listen to the people around you. Do your own research, come to your own understanding of what is best and healthy for your baby. You are ground zero for your child’s health and future.

There is a lot about being a parent that you will learn as you go, and you will learn. It will come. Do not stress. However, it’s important to know about things like car seat safety and how to advocate for your choices as a parent and your baby. Doing this work before your baby here is optimal, because it will help prepare you better than most things will. However, even if your baby is already here, the most important thing is that you educate yourself and give yourself the knowledge about the things that matter in order to make the parental decisions and choices that will best benefit your child and your parenting journey.

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